Evening Parties

From Domestic Duties, or Instructions to Young Married Ladies Mrs. William Parkes (1828).

Section 3. Evening parties.

Mrs. B.---Evening parties have various denominations, but differ from each other rather in the amusements than in the manner of conducting them. They consist of balls, at which, you know, dancing alone is the amusement;--routs, which comprehend a crowd of persons in full dress assembled to pay their respects to the lady of the house, and to converse, occasionally with such of their acquaintances as they may encounter in the throng; --conversaziones, in which, as the term implies, conversation has the lead; but the tedium which this might occasion to some of the guests, by its unvaried continuance, is prevented by the occasional introduction of music and dancing, and card parties.

Balls

Mrs. L.--How long before a ball is given should the invitations be issued?

Mrs. B.--A month at least, or even six weeks; and the invitation (printed from a copper plate on cards) is usually either in this form, or in the one that follows:

Mrs. D-----

AT HOME

Tuesday, May 26th,

Quadrilles.

Mrs. C------- H------

REQUESTS THE PLEASURE OF

Mr. and Mrs. W----- M-----’s

COMPANY TO AN EVENING PARTY,

Wednesday, March 7th

Dancing. The Favour of an Answer is Desired.

As the company is generally numerous at balls, it is neither necessary, nor is it expected, to be so select as at smaller parties. On these occasions, the rooms may be filled, although too great a crowd should be avoided. The majority ought, of course, to be juvenil, and the number of gentlemen should equal to, or even exceed that of the ladies.

I scarcely need remind you of the great advantage of being beforehand, in all the necessary preparations for parties of every kind. Early in the day, the sofas, chairs, and tables should be removed, as well as every other piece of furniture which is likely either to be in the way or to be injured; forms should be placed round the walls of the room, as occupying less space than chairs, and accommodating more persons with seats. A ball-room should be brilliantly lighted, and this is done in the best style by a chandelier or lamp suspended from the centre of the ceiling, which diffuses in equal light while it adds to the elegant appearance of the room. Lustres placed on the mantle-piece, and branches on tripods in the corners of the room, are also extremely ornamental.

Mrs. L.--I hope you recommend chalking the floor, which is not only ornamental, but useful, as I know by experience, in preventing those awkward and disagreeable accidents which a slippery floor inevitably occasions among the lively votaries of Terpsichore.

Mrs. B.--A chalked floor is useful, too, in disguising for a time, an old or ill-coloured floor, which would otherwise form a miserable contrast to the elegant chandeliers, and the well dressed belles and beaux. When the season will allow it, we must not forget to fill the fireplace with flowers and plants, which, indeed, form an appropriate and pleasing ornament on the landing-places, and in other parts of the house through which the guests have to pass.

In consulting the beauty of the fair visitants, those flowers should be selected which reflect the colours in harmony with the human complexion; as, for example, the Rose, the early white Azalea, the white and pink Hyacinth, and other flowers of similar tints. There should not be an over proportion of green; for, as this colour reflects the blue and yellow rays, it is by no means favourable to the female complexion; and still worse are yellow and orange-coloured groups, whether of natural or artificial flowers. In some degree, however, the flowers should be chosen to harmonize also with the colour of the paper, or the walls of the ball-room.

The music should always be good, as much of the pleasure of dancing depends upon it. Violins, with harp and flute accompaniments form the most agreeable band for dancing.

The lady of the house, who is expected to appear in rather conspicuous full dress, should be in readiness to receive her guests in good time; allowing herself a few minutes’ leisure to survey her rooms, to ascertain that every thing is in proper order and that nothing is defective in any of her arrangements. The arrival of her guests will be between the hours of nine and twelve.

A retiring room should be in readiness for ladies who may wish to disburthen themselves of shawls and cloaks; and here a female should be in attendance to receive them, and to perform any little office of neatness which a lady’s dress may accidentally require. Tea and coffee may also be presented in this room, if any be deemed necessary; but of late the custom of introducing these refreshments at balls has been utterly abolished.

Three men servants, at least, are necessary, and as many more as the sphere of life of the individual who gives the ball sanctions. One servant should attend at the door of the house; and receiving the names of the company as they arrive, he should transmit them to another, who should conduct the party into the ante-room, while he in turn communicates their arrival to a third at the drawing-room door, who should announce them to the lady of the house. Her station should be as near the entrance of the room as possible, that her friends may nor have to search for her to whom, of course, they wish first to pay their respects, and from whom they expect their welcome. As soon as a sufficient number of dancers have arrived, the young people should be introduced to partners, that they may not, by any unreasonable delay of their expected amusement, lose their self-complacency, and cast the reflection of dullness on the party. When the lady of the house is a dancer, she generally commences the dance; but when this is not the case, her husband should lead out the greatest stranger, or person of highest rank present; and while one dance is proceeding, la Maîtresse du bal, if a French term be allowable, should be preparing another set of dancers to take the place of those upon the floor as soon as they have finished. Nothing displays more want of management and method, than a dead pause after a dance; while the lady, all confusion at so disagreeable a circumstance is begging those to take theri places who have, perhaps, never been introduced to partners. There should be no monopoly of this delightful recreation, but all the dancers in the party should enjoy it in regular succession.

Refreshments, such as ices, lemonade, negus and small rout cakes, should be handed round between every two or three dances, unless a room be appropriated for such refreshments. Supper should be announced at half-past twelve or at one o’clock never later; and each gentleman should then be requested to take charge of a lady to the supper-room. Both with regard to the pleasure of her company, and her own comfort, La Maitresse would do well to discountenance the habit, which is sometimes sanctioned, of the gentlemen remaining long in the supper-room after the ladies have retired.

Miss L.-- . . . Of what, my dear madam, should a supper for such a party consist? Is it an expensive addition to the entertainment?

Mrs. B.--The variety of little delicacies of which suppers generally consist, makes them rather expensive. The table is usually crowded with dishes, which, however, contain nothing of a more solid nature than chickens, tongue, collard eels, prawns, lobsters, trifles, jellies, blancmange, whips, fruits, ornamental confectionary, &c. To these may be added, ham cut into thin slices, and oysters both stewed and pickled. As it would scarcely be possible to seat a very large party at once at a supper-table, it is advisable to keep one part of the company dancing in the ballroom, while another, is at supper; and, even in this case, the gentlemen need not be seated nor sup until the ladies have retired Very little apparent exertion is necessary in the lady of the house, yet should she contrive to speak to most of her guests some time during the evening, and to the greatest strangers she should pay more marked attention.

Routs.

Mrs. L.--What ceremonies are to be observed of routs?

Mrs. B.--The preparations for a rout, with the exception of removing the carpet, chalking and floor and providing music and a supper, are similar to those for a ball. The same announcements are requisite; the lady of the house is required to receive her guests in the same manner; and refreshments are to be provided in the waiting-room; but, farther, the assembled groups are left to amuse themselves, if amusement can be found in a crowd resembling that which fills the lobbies of a theatre on the first night of a new performance. To a person unacquainted with fashionable life, nothing can appear more extraordinary than the influence of fashion in these gregarious assemblies. The secret, however, is this:--few expect any gratification from the rout itself; but the whole pleasure consists in the anticipation of the following days’ gossip, which the faintings, tearing of dresses, and elbowings which haveccurred are likely to afford. To meet a fashionable friend next day in the Park, without having been at Lady A---’s, would be sufficient to exclude the absentee from any claim to ton; while to have been squeezed into a corner with the Marchioness of B----, or the Duchess of C-----, is a most enviable event, and capable of conversation for at least ten days.

Conversaziones

Mrs. L.--Are conversaziones conducted in the same manner?

Mrs. B.--Not exactly. Conversaziones are more select meetings both in respect to the number and the characters of the individuals who are invited. To routs the invitations are general and unlimited; to conversaziones they are limited, and the individuals are, at least, supposed to possess a taste for information, whether obtained from books or from conversation.

This description of evening amusement is not, however, general, but is confined either to literary circles, or to those persons of rank and fortune who wish to patronise literature. When you wish to give a conversazione, the party should be selected with some care; and although persons of the same pursuits should be brought together, yet individuals of the most opposite characters and acquirements should also be invited, to give variety and interest to the conversation, which is the object of the assembly. The tables should be spread with the newest publications, prints, drawings; shells, fossils, and other natural products should also be introduced, to excite attention and promote remark.

Mrs. L.--This is a most rational species of entertainment. Why is it so little in fashion?

Mrs. B.--One cause of its rarity is the mania which prevails for music, without which no species of entertainment is regarded worthy of attention. This is a circumstance to be lamented, for nothing would contribute more to the general diffusion of information, and consequently to the improvement of society.

Card Parties

Mrs. L.--How are card parties conducted?

Mrs. B.--The invitations to these are similar to those issued for routs and balls, with the change of the word, “quadrilles” to “cards.” As many should be invited as will fill up a certain number of whist tables with the addition of a loo or round table. Tea and coffee are handed to the guests on their arrival, and wine, cakes, and ices are handed round to the players at intervals during the evening. Each whist table should be furnished with at least two new packs of cards, differently coloured on the backs, besides counters for markers. The lady of the house generally fixes the value of the points which determine the game; and she should, also, be prepared to change the players at table, as soon as the rubber is declared to be over. As all the company is not always engaged in play, the lady of the house, as well as her husband, should remain disengaged, to lead into conversation those who are strangers to one another, and to promote the general amusement of the guests.

Mrs. L.--According to your account conversaziones and card parties may be united?

Mrs. B.--Certainly; and these are, perhaps, the most rational description of evening entertainments in the metropolis. The introduction of cards, takes off the air of pedantry which is supposed to pervade a pure conversazione, while the introduction of conversation at a card party, set aside the character of gaming, which might be attached to a party met solely for the purposes of play. Many of our ablest men of science and in literature, are fond of whist, and would willingly go to such a mixed party, although they would hesitate to attend one purely conversational, or convened solely for card playing.